Poker Shrink Radio Appearance

[Content Disclosure: 100% Poker; 92% Shameless Self Promotion]

I am making one of my infrequent internet radio appearances this week on Lou Krieger's Keep Flopping Aces on Rounder's Radio. The show airs live at 9 PM EST on Thursday. You can also catch an audio replay anytime after by going to Lou's archives on the Rounder's Radio site.

We are obviously going to be talking about "the book" as Amy and I approach our delivery date next week. I also want to talk with Lou about some of the things I saw at the World Series this year; some interesting incidents that were reported in the media very differently than how I saw them. In particular, I will be talking about the Scotty Nguyen H.O.R.S.E. coverage and the Phil Hellmuth penalty/non-penalty on Day Five of the main event.

Remember, 6 PM Thursday night for all of my left coast friends and for those of you in Australia, well you know how that works, I think the show is already over.... How was I?

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Some Thoughts on Therapy

One of my oldest and dearest friends is in therapy, an endeavor I would never have thought he would undertake. But times change and losses happen. He called me last week to have a conversation about his therapy and after we were done, he suggested that I should put what I told him in my blog. I thought about that for awhile and since I am not actually giving anyone specific clinical advice, I guess I will share my thoughts on therapy.

As a professional disclosure, I do have a degree in psychology and while I am not in an established clinical practice, I do have several clients, most of whom are professional poker players. If any of my clients read this, I am confident what I say here is consistent with my therapeutic style.

Let's call my friend, Jeff. Of course, not his real name. Let's not call his ex-wife anything. I never really liked her but she is not the source of Jeff's problem; as always, life is the problem. Jeff went into therapy about a year and a half ago with a specific issue to resolve and is currently a bit unsatisfied with the course of the therapy. This is what prompted the phone call to me.

I should say to those who are not familiar with psychology in general, that there are dozens, perhaps hundreds of different forms of therapy; practiced by individuals across a wide spectrum of clinical modalities and belief systems. Meaning--it ain't all the same. But in Jeff's case, we are talking about a fairly standard form of "talk therapy", where the client sees the therapist once a week for a 50 minute hour and talks about their life, the situation and/or the problem.

The goal of such therapy is to uncover the various aspects of the client's problem or issue or whatever we, he or she wants to label it and to provide the client with tools to solve, resolve, move past or "fix" it. This form of therapy is essentially a dialog between the therapist and the client. Here is where Jeff's therapy got off track, in my not so humble opinion.

Intelligent people who enter therapy often need a period of time to simply vent. Usually followed by details of the issue and a good deal of background about how and why they got to the place they are now unsatisfied with. This process of getting it out and mulling it all over out loud can and should take some time. Let's arbitrarily say this process might take three months; sometimes longer, sometimes shorter but let's go with three months. Several issues now arise, not the least of which is that you or your insurance company are paying the therapist to sit there for these sessions. Quite frankly, a therapist is not motivated financially move the process along because once you get what you need, you stop coming to therapy and you must be replaced with a new client. Sorry, but money is a factor in what should be a completely caring, healing process. Yes, life sucks or at least someone gets a bill for it.

Now the therapist has some kind of training, usually at least a Masters degree in clinical psychology and probably, depending on local laws, some training in actually conducting therapy sessions. They also will have some frame of reference, some philosophy for his or her work. All too often that therapeutic frame is simply a continuation of the talk process. I do not believe this is helpful to the client in most circumstances and, in fact, it creates a dependency in many clients that does not lead to resolution of their issue. Very quickly the weekly visits can become very comforting. You get to go to a safe place and talk to someone about your life and they are completely and uncritically willing to listen. All nice and warm and fuzzy.

Now, if you treated your job like this you would soon be unemployed. You don't deeply ponder an issue for an indeterminate period of time, not if you want to keep collecting that paycheck. Action is called for and at some point in the therapy process, there needs to be a call to action. It is the therapist's responsibility to make that completely clear to the client. Once you have gotten your issue or issues on the table and once you have explored the depths and shallows of that issue; well, then it is time to do something about it.

You see we come to therapy because of some discomfort in our life. If you went to see your doctor, you would not be surprised if the conversation turned to the subject of disease. Well, that should happen in psychological therapy as well. Just take the word apart. Dis-ease. Not at ease. Something is wrong, is that not why you went looking for some help? The therapist should be always working towards the goal of the elimination or transformation of dis-ease.

Unfortunately, talk therapy can become very, very comfortable. Those weekly sessions become something you look forward to and they should not be. You are attempting, I hope, to resolve some issue in your life and to move on; to get back on course; to solve or resolve the issue. But instead you get stuck in the cycle of talking about it. That is the failure of the therapist. At some point, there needs to be a goal oriented conversation initiated by the professional in the therapeutic relationship. What is it that you are hoping to accomplish and what skills or tasks can the trained professional present to you to accomplish those goals?

At this point, therapy should not be comfortable. You probably will not look forward to those weekly sessions and you won't be doing all the talking. There will be questions, there may be assignments, there should be progress and in most cases there will be discomfort, anxiety and often tears.

If this type of interaction is not happening in the therapy setting, then you are simply paying someone to listen to you. Get a dog or better yet talk with an honest, caring friend; someone who knows something about life, which is precisely what a trained therapist should be in the first place.

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Jennifer Harman and Cat Condo Conversions

[Content Disclosure: Big Felines 68%, Small Kitties 22%, Charity 33%, Poker 7%, SPCA 89%]

My good friend Matty is in town again and as is our ritual, we met in front of the MGM Lion Habitat and then went over to the SPCA Shelter to visit the Cat Condos. Our first surprise was that Gino and Belladonna were the afternoon residents at MGM. We actually got to meet and touch those two about a year ago when they were tiny cubs. Here is a picture of me with Belladonna, she is about 150 pounds heavier now.


After visiting with the big kitties, Matt and I went over the the SPCA No-Kill shelter and were horribly disappointed to discover the Cat Condos were closed for renovation. My fault, I know they have to completely redo that section of the shelter every year or so and I just didn't think to check the website. We did manage to run into some of the great staff and were told that these are hard times for many pet owners with the financial crisis and in particular the ever mounting foreclosures in the area. Many more pet owners have had to surrender their pets because of lost homes and pet restrictions on their new residences. But on the bright side, we also were told that the SPCA is able to handle this influx of animals mostly because of the money raised this past year by the Jennifer Harman Charity Poker Tournament.

So here is another hats off to Jennifer and all those who volunteered their time and energy to that worthy project. And once more a reminder that you can make a donation to the SPCA No-Kill Shelter right here. And details of next year's charity event will be posted as soon as we have them.

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White Racial Politics

[Content Disclosure: 78% Politics; 59% Race; 0% Poker]

After every election we hear about which "groups" put which candidate over the top. Or which groups "won" the election for someone or another. Well there is one group that doesn't get talked about much in this manner, that would be the white voters. Caucasian has been the majority or at least the presumed majority in the United States for as long as any one alive today can remember. Clearly, the times they are a changin'.

Deep down many people were concerned that quiet racism would, if not elect John McCain, at least make the election close enough for everyone to notice. Many feared the quiet voter who did not respond to the pre-election polls or even lied about their little white secret. The fear was that once in the voting booth, they would always and forever pull the white lever.

Well, it didn't happen...... or did it?

Among all white voters in the 2008 Presidential election the tally is: Obama 43% McCain 55%.

Whether you are a glass of milk half empty or half full type of person, there is other good or bad news.

The 43% of white voters is the highest the democratic candidate for president has gotten in over twenty years. So it may be less about color and more about conservative leanings. Not to dismiss reactionary voting against change as having a racial component.

The better news. When you drop out white voters over 65 years of age; Obama wins the white vote. It does seem that the younger you are, the less likely you will fear or dislike someone based on melatonin levels.

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Some "Other" Political Thoughts

[Content Disclosure: 0% Poker; 23% Politics; 44% not so famous quotes; 37.2% a certain political theme; 13% Whimsy]

"The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority." -- Ralph W. Sockman

"I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times."-- Senator Everett Dirksen

"You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common, they don't alter their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit the views, which can be uncomfortable, if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering."-- Doctor Who

"A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised to save a man from the vexation of thinking."-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate." -- Mark B. Cohen

"Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least." --Robert Byrne

"A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel." -- Robert Frost

"Numerous politicians have seized absolute power and muzzled the press. Never in history has the press seized absolute power and muzzled the politicians.-- David Brinkley

"If I seem to take part in politics, it is only because politics encircles us today like the coil of a snake from which one cannot get out, no matter how much one tries. I wish therefore to wrestle with the snake."
-- Mohandas Gandhi

"Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper."-- Larry Flynt

"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."-- Winston Churchill

"We need a president who's fluent in at least one language."
-- Buck Henry

"It is better to vote for what you want and not get it than to vote for what you don't want and get it."-- Eugene Debs

"I didn't say I wouldn't go into ghetto areas. I've been in many of them and to some extent I would say this; if you've seen one city slum, you've seen them all." -- Spiro T. Agnew, Republican vice-president and prison inmate

"We'd all like to vote for the best man but he's never a candidate."
--Kin Hubbard.

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change." -- Dan Quayle

If you label something whimsy, is it still? --Me

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Early Voting

[Content Disclosure: 0% Poker, 12% Politics, 45% Local Governmental Services, 67% A Good Idea]

This is the first (presidential) year I have lived in a jurisdiction that allows early voting. I currently vote in Clark County, which includes the first and third largest cities in Nevada (Las Vegas & Henderson; Reno is second). In 2004 just over 80% of registered voters went to the polls in the fall election cycle. Because of early voting almost half of those voters voted early. The rounded figures were: 10% absentee ballots, 40% election day votes, 50% early voting.

Here in Clark County there are eight permanent early voting facilities, most of them in shopping malls. They also have eight mobile teams that moved from site to site each day to set up voting areas at either the normal election day sites or in large grocery stores. It is simply too convenient not to early vote; unless you are still undecided, which actually means you should really not be off your medication.

The early voting here goes on through Friday. They take Saturday, Sunday and Monday to prepare for election day and then everyone gets their last chance, just like the rest of the country, next Tuesday. By comparison: in 2004 just over 271,000 early votes were cast in Clark County. The total on Monday of this week for 2008 was just over 250,000 with four days remaining in the early voting period. Looks like more voters will turn out in '08 than in '04 here, but isn't that expected just about everywhere this year. I mean what would you expect with What's His Name and Who JaMa CallIt running. OK, OK, one political rant per year.

Finally, I am now ready to give my election day prediction. I predict that when you all wake up on Wednesday morning and turn on the early morning talk shows, you will notice the complete lack of advertisements with one nasty asshole calling the other nasty asshole a lying whore. Ah, I will miss the political season; I do so like gilding golden rod and stepping on eternal cockroaches.

P.S. By the way, if you live in a state that does not have early voting, you do realize that a significant portion of your population has been disenfranchised by the more liberal voting laws in states with early voting. Shouldn't someone do something about this inequity? While the logical thing would be to allow early voting in all states, in fact, three lawsuits have been filed in federal court to prevent early voting in any state. We do so like to ban and prevent rather than enfranchise and accommodate.

P.S. #2: The early vote in Nevada (550,000+) was higher than the total vote in 2004.

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Quadrennial Political Rant

In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from.  -- Peter Ustinov

Thus begins my quadrennial political plea to my friends far and near. In this election, for the first time, I will be able to reach each of you directly via this blog. Also in the past four to eight years I have substantially increased my acquaintances on the right side of the political coin. So my old and true liberal friends will be not be less offended than in past years but at least they will not be alone in shaking their manes at my now thirty-two years of clear political naiveté. Yes, my friends, it has been now nine presidential elections since I first began making the same point I once again put forward to you today.

The two party system in the United States is broken; has been broken and will remain broken until reasonable, thoughtful voters like you take it upon yourself to stop swallowing the patently absurd notion that what Party A offers you is substantively different than what Party B offers.

The litany remains the same:

They both raise your taxes, increase the national debt and spend/waste more of your money. There is no “tax and spend” party. There is no “party of the people”. A belief in such epitaphs is not voter involvement; it is simple being complicit in your own brainwashing.

The Federal Budget never goes down, even adjusted for inflation. Therefore, both parties believe in big government. The very nature of being in power is to maintain power. The appropriation process with its earmarks, pork and special orders is structured to keep legislators in office. The budget process is big government, its use and perversion is the life blood of all federal elected offices including those in congress, who are charged with its oversight. The system is perverted beyond saving.

They both believe in welfare. One believes in it for big corporations, the other for disadvantaged citizens and big corporations. Your only decision is not whether you are for or against handouts, but which handouts you are for.

They both are in the pocket of multi-national businesses and these days they are bought via the campaign contribution laws and loopholes by these same businesses. Every purchase you make in this economy has a tax added to pay for lobbyists in Washington. Lobbyists who may be advocating for programs and policies you say you are against.

Neither has done anything about energy, health care or education. We had gas lines over twenty years ago, yet overall fuel mileage on American made vehicles is less than it was after the first “oil shortage”. Health care costs have gone up 150% faster than the rest of the economy in those same twenty years and insurance coverage has gone down as a percentage of the total health care bill. I have no children and therefore assume most or all of you are better able to draw conclusions on the educational system.

They both wage war. And they both continue to wage wars started by the other party. Since JFK handed Vietnam to Johnson and he passed it on to Nixon, there has been this insane policy of making decisions about war and death based on some unwritten rule that you can’t just reverse the insane warmongering of a previous administration because what would that mean for future presidents powers to maim foreign nationals. Like making them believe they might be held responsible for killing thousands and destroying entire cultures would be a bad thing.

Now you are perfectly right in your righteous indignation about the “other” party. Only I have noticed that just like every other election that 40% of the voters when they listen to the debate do not hear the words or issues but hear instead what will support their guy and condemn the other guy. Another 40% do exactly the same thing on the other side. These are not the actions of a thoughtful electorate but of sheep. By the way the book, A Nation of Sheep by William Lederer, was published in 1967, he also wrote The Ugly American.

People do not vote “for” a candidate, they vote “against” the other guy. After the final debate both Fox and CNN ran a long segment of voicemail responses to the candidate’s performance. I counted 18 callers, all of whom said something negative about the other guy. No one, not one, had a positive thing to say about their candidate. Is this really the result of negative campaigning? Or are the voters so stuck in the two party paradigm that they honestly believe the dichotomy of the two party prison.

So once again let me say. The only reasoned, rational solution is to vote for a third party. Only when tweedle-dumb or tweedle-dumber is elected with less than 40% of the popular vote will who cares & don’t care get the message that the voters actually are upset with same old, same old, same old crap. Haven’t you had enough of this yet?

Now, let me speak to each side separately. To my liberal friends. Yes, I know this guy really excites you, just like Slick Willy did. So I know you are not going to listen—again. But in four years when you are making up excuses for why with a “friendly” congress, nothing still has been done. Perhaps then? You really think that big business will allow congress to shift tax supports from big oil to wind or solar? Well maybe in 2012 you will give my position a fair hearing. I don’t really expect you to not vote for Barack this time, I mean there is a war on right? Need I point out, we had a war too. You do remember Vietnam? Or for my younger liberal friends—Lebanon, Somalia, Yugoslavia, Afghanistan, Iraq.

For my new conservative friends and most of my immediate family. Eight years ago it was you making the “we can’t have four more years of this” argument. Gore was just another Clinton to you. We needed change right? Well guess what. Not only have you had eight years of the White House but the guy is a functional moron. Come on does W. not embarrass you more than Bill’s blowjob? Quite frankly the third party candidates on your side of the ocean are by and large better equipped to actually hold power. Take a look; there have been some very reasonable third party challenges from the right. Well guess what, your guy this time around is quite frankly a vicious, vindictive bastard. His political allies in the Senate have told everyone this but, as usual; no one listens because it’s either him or the other guy. But lo and behold! There actually are alternatives.

You actually do have a choice. A vote for a third party candidate is not throwing away your vote. Furthermore, if you would spend as much time talking to others about the third party option, spend as much time as you do convincing yourself that the choice you are being offered doesn’t actually turn your stomach, well then something might actually get done. Stand up to whichever party does not represent you; the one that takes you for granted; the one you vote for because they call the other guy names. Do you really want to be associated with the unmitigated lies when your guy “approves of this ad”?

Finally, I remind you of the line you have all heard from me at one time or another. ‘When you chose the lesser of two evils, you still get evil.’ I remind you that a rational, reasoning person like you will at some point admit to yourself that they truly do offer you only the choice between two immoral, incompetent evils. Change the system; change the future, vote for a third party candidate. There are more than two roads to the future and many of the alternatives have not been bought and paid for by people you detest.

Postscript: For those who have not received my Presidential Observations in previous election years. Let me assure you that the “tone” of my words do not indicate that I am “in a bad place” or “more cynical than you remember”. My political position has been firmly outside of the myopic two party system since 1968. My presentation has not varied because the system has not changed. Do rest assured that “they” are not more evil now, W. is not worse than Nixon and Barack only appears slightly better than Dukakis, Mondale or Hubert Horatio Humphrey. I wish you all a pleasant and peaceful fall. See you right here in four years, stuck in the same muck, tilting at the same windmills.

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