A Handy House Guest

Consider this an advertising resume for my next cross-country visitation trek. I am not what anyone would call a handyman. My solution to nearly all household repairs involves the use of the yellow pages. Recently, however, upon solving a niggling fix-it problem with some outside-of-the-box logic; I was humorously nominated as a superior hands-off household consultant. Which struck me as interesting because as a visiting house guest of some duration, I do become involved in what can only be described as a --- Travelin' Honey-Do List, including over the past several months:

-winterizing and wrapping a hot tub;
-rearranging a living room (and putting it all back);
-liquor and wine shopping for a holiday party of sixty;
-emptying a dozen or more litter boxes;
-assistant cat claw clipping;
-watering two vegetable patches;
-drip irrigation repair (failed attempt at)
-picking up or delivering assorted personages to train, bus & air transport hubs;
-clean-up after bladder control challenged dog;
-installation of tv satellite dish;
-leaf raking;
-chimney sweeping;
-recliner foot rest repair (consultation only)
-bird feeder relocation;
-big screen tv relocation, re-relocation, re-re-relocation;
-six bag Goodwill closet clearance (w/ psychiatric support at no additional charge);
-re-tracing route home from bank and finding lost $124;
-re-caning patio furniture (abject failure);
-re-covering escaped cat (twice);
-changing many light bulbs (it's a height thing);
-lots and lots of slicing, dicing and cooking;
-tree trimming (security & safety support only);
-toilet tank repair with coat hanger and Bic lighter;
-mattress flipping (no really);
-digital television system reset;
-saltwater fish tank servicing (kibbitz only)
-bi-annual throw rug laundry marathon (3 day event);
-trimming night blooming jasmine vines;
-finding lost objects based on vague description;
-finding lost objects based on reverse OCD affliction;
-relocation of oversized slate King Arthur round table;
-swimming pool servicing;
-neighbor servicing (oh wait, that's a different post)
-the infamous crawl in the attic, air-conditioning duct fiasco;

I are a good houseguest, invitations now being accepted for 2011.

ID this photo Joe, I did change the tag