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Doldrums


dol-drums [dohl-druh-mz]
-noun (used with a plural verb)
1. a state of inactivity or stagnation, as in business or art.
2. the doldrums,
a. a belt of calms and light baffling winds north of the equator between the northern and southern trade winds in the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
b. the weather prevailing in this area.
3. a dull, listless, depressed mood; low spirits.

I can't actually say that I am in the doldrums, but I am feeling a bit becalmed. After months of travel and interaction with many people and many germ carrying poker chips, toll tickets, books, menus and the other paraphernalia of life; I have finally caught a small cold. Nothing serious and several rainy days in Austin have allowed me to take to a swaddled state supplemented with over-the-counter poultices and unguents.

I have also made two hospital visits to an old and dear friend, who had surgery this week. She of thirty-five years friendship with too long gaps in the last decade or so. Some of my feelings of becalming clearly have arisen from this reconnection.

Additionally, the final leg or legs of my circumnavigation are not falling into place as has the previous five or so months of my travels, so I guess I am just a half-a-bubble off these days. But this too shall pass.

Amy and I are taking advantage of some face-to-face time to tussle with the intricacies of the Matusow screenplay. Tis always good to share a large sectional with Amy and send email attachments back and forth with comma splices and tense corrections. Seems like olde times.

Planning on an IMAX experience this weekend (Avatar, of course) followed by some original Salt Lick Barbeque.

Next week, heading on down the western biways.

Lest We Forget

Before I forget, on our recent Poker Boyz excursion to the cardrooms of Biloxi some of us were able to reconnect with a long lost member of the group. Zipman had not been seen in over four years. Zippy lives in Slidell, Louisiana and we have been ragging on him pretty good about missing the last half-a-dozen outings. Because he lives so close to Biloxi, he drove up for several tournaments and lots of laughs. At one point, the question was raised as to why we had seen so little of him since '05. His answer reminded me and I would like to remind you.

He said simply: "We had a city to rebuild."

In August of 2005, Hurricane Katrina destroyed much of southern Mississippi and Louisiana. Eighty percent of New Orleans was flooded and huge sections of the lower 9th ward remain as they were on that fateful day.

The Bush administration handled Katrina and her aftermath about as well as if Sarah Palin or Dan Quayle were in charge. We all remember the thousands stranded at the SuperDome while our FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) did nothing. The federal government has remained oblivious to the disaster that was New Orleans. Not something that would have been tolerated after the L.A. quake or if a natural disaster had hit Chicago or Boston. I guess the Civil War isn't really over yet.

But. . . I have heard that a democrat is now in the White House and I believe he made some promised on the campaign trail to the citizens of New Orleans. How is that working out for you folks still in plywood and duct tape trailers nearly five years later. I know, you didn't get the trailers for over a year, so you really can't say you have been stuck in them all that long. I mean wasn't Iowa nice that first year?

Bottom line, we did more for the victims of the SouthEast Asia tsunami than we have done for the American citizens who lost their homes, jobs and families in greater New Orleans. Remember this April when you pay your taxes, you need to live someplace where they speak English without an accent or at least have a powerful Senator or two.

Thanks for reminding us Bob: "We had a city to rebuild."

Psychoanalysis by DVD-R

Being a transient means that you can fall behind on technological advances that require one to have some form of geographic stability. Or, to put it more bluntly, you don't purchase big honking tech equipment when you live out of a car. I haven't owned a television or the up-to-date accoutrements of the visual/video medium for about five years. This doesn't mean that I don't watch the boob tube, I am not that evolved. However, when I indulge, I watch what is currently playing on any of the 200+ channels my current host's system might have available.

I know, my teenage nephew thinks I will walk into a Blockbuster and try to rent a VHS tape of Caddyshack II.

On my extended visitations over the last six months, I have noticed that nearly everyone, who is anyone, has gotten on the DVD-R bandwagon. No one but us Luddites remains a slave to the mundane scheduling of the network or cable advertising execs. At least one person in each DVD-R household as semi-mastered the intricacies of the new technology, so that now anyone can sit down day or night and view from their own pre-selected favorites list.

But beware of the technological backlash. On one of my stopovers I found weeks and weeks of The Biggest Loser and Bridezillas, not to mention enough Apprentice and American Idol to make you want to shove Donald Trump's hairpiece down Simon Cowell's throat. So here are my thoughts on committing your tv addictions to semi-public format.

First, I merely felt it might be embarrassing should your television viewing preferences become widely known, but that has been semi-true for years. Now, however, there is evidence to impeach your "only PBS and Discovery" channel lies. On deeper reflection I came up with even more potential uses for this tekkie evidence trail.

When someone comes into therapy, we need some basics about their life situation. Age, gender (if not obvious), martial status, educational level and, of course, the alleged presenting issues. I would also like some insight into a client's head, which I would like to get fast and dirty without their intervening avoidance behavior and obfuscation. And now I have it!

Bring me your DVD-R list. This will tell me more than fourteen sessions about your mother and why your spouse doesn't understand you. Your boss may be a jerk but you watch The Office. Your weight issues could have something to do with unending episodes of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. And you seem to be getting relationship advice from the Kardashians.

This new information could revolutionize the counseling and therapy industry but for now my advice to all of you DVD-R addicts out there: Learn to erase and do it now!

Sorry but your time is up. Please pay the hermaphrodite out front. See you next week.

Arctic Austin

I have now traveled three-quarters of the way around the country passing thru nearly half the states and yet it took coming to Texas to experience truly cold weather. The Arctic Blast that is keeping the Weather Channel in viewers this last week brought official temperatures into the high teens last night on our arrival here in Austin. My unofficial blog thermometer registered 12° this morning. No matter, typical January temps here in the heart of you know are 60°-40° or thereabouts, so the environs will be warming soon or so I am told.

Biloxi was a great stop. The five members of the Poker Boyz who made it had stories to tell and laughter to more than compensate for our dwindling card skills. Congrats to all who made final tables and to Randy for the one big win of the week. We also ran into a surprising number of old poker road friends and our favorite poker management team: Johnny Grooms and Ken Lambert. The Beau Rivage Hotel & Casino is now highly recommended by all.

As for the continuing trip, I expect to linger in Texas for a week or so and then begin the slow progression west. Further stopovers are still in the state of potentiality, I am considering a L.A. sidetrip to visit friends and gather some more fodder for the writing mill.

This next week, Amy and I will be heads down on the Matusow screenplay, with hopes of progress and insight into the vicissitudes of the Hollywood movie mindset. I am going to accompany her to the Austin screenplay group and perhaps to her home game as well. And there will some catch-up blog posts for the lost time in the bowels of the Biloxi poker rooms. Until then...
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Texas Wall Art by raganart.com

The Western Turn

After many months traveling to points north, than east and further east and recently to the south... our wanderings have now taken a final directional change, my head has turned back to the west. The return has begun but not without several more interesting stops along the way.

A quorum of the PokerBoyz have assembled at the Beau Rivage here in Biloxi, Mississippi for several days of camaraderie, story telling and yes, even some poker. Amy is in from Austin, Mike is down from Minneapolis; Randy and I made the drive from Satellite Beach yesterday. For absent members of the gang, we as a group want to wish you well and to announce that last evening we did share a meal and a far amount of ridicule with Zippy. Yes, he lives and breaths and was here in all his flesh. He has not been playing much of the game, but will be joining us for several evening events this week.

Apparently, despite the check-in line last night, occupancy at the Beau is down; so we have all been upgraded to the Gulf view rooms. A pleasant site this morning to watch a sunrise over the water. Temperatures will be a bit nippy while we are here, however, except to drive to another casino for a tournament, there was not a lot of outside activity planned for the week. On today's agenda -- poker. Those seeking meaningful insight into the universe should stop back next week.

Who ordered the fried cat fish?

A Handy House Guest

Consider this an advertising resume for my next cross-country visitation trek. I am not what anyone would call a handyman. My solution to nearly all household repairs involves the use of the yellow pages. Recently, however, upon solving a niggling fix-it problem with some outside-of-the-box logic; I was humorously nominated as a superior hands-off household consultant. Which struck me as interesting because as a visiting house guest of some duration, I do become involved in what can only be described as a --- Travelin' Honey-Do List, including over the past several months:

-winterizing and wrapping a hot tub;
-rearranging a living room (and putting it all back);
-liquor and wine shopping for a holiday party of sixty;
-emptying a dozen or more litter boxes;
-assistant cat claw clipping;
-watering two vegetable patches;
-drip irrigation repair (failed attempt at)
-picking up or delivering assorted personages to train, bus & air transport hubs;
-clean-up after bladder control challenged dog;
-installation of tv satellite dish;
-leaf raking;
-chimney sweeping;
-recliner foot rest repair (consultation only)
-bird feeder relocation;
-big screen tv relocation, re-relocation, re-re-relocation;
-six bag Goodwill closet clearance (w/ psychiatric support at no additional charge);
-re-tracing route home from bank and finding lost $124;
-re-caning patio furniture (abject failure);
-re-covering escaped cat (twice);
-changing many light bulbs (it's a height thing);
-lots and lots of slicing, dicing and cooking;
-tree trimming (security & safety support only);
-toilet tank repair with coat hanger and Bic lighter;
-mattress flipping (no really);
-digital television system reset;
-saltwater fish tank servicing (kibbitz only)
-bi-annual throw rug laundry marathon (3 day event);
-trimming night blooming jasmine vines;
-finding lost objects based on vague description;
-finding lost objects based on reverse OCD affliction;
-relocation of oversized slate King Arthur round table;
-swimming pool servicing;
-neighbor servicing (oh wait, that's a different post)
-the infamous crawl in the attic, air-conditioning duct fiasco;

I are a good houseguest, invitations now being accepted for 2011.

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ID this photo Joe, I did change the tag

Where Did You Begin?

Being the first morning of a new calendar year and a 'full of promises' decade; I was pondering where I had geographically begun previous years and prior decades. How about you?

2010 begins in Satellite Beach, Florida

2009/2007 - Las Vegas, Nevada

2006/2001 - Ann Arbor, Michigan

2000 - Forestville, California

1999/1994 - San Francisco, California

1993 - Weed, California

1990 - Hollywood, California

1987 - Redondo Beach, California

1986 - Hermosa Beach, California

1984 - F.F.F.F.

1982 - airplane over Bolivia

1980 - Kona, Hawaii

1974 - Hell, Michigan

1972 - Boston, Massachusetts

1970 - Kalamazoo, Michigan

1965 - Dexter, Michigan

1949 - Detroit, Michigan

2011 - ? ? ?

2020 - ? ? ?
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a plug nickel if you can identify the map at the top