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Swayed into Blinking at a Black Swan

[Content Disclosure: Books 90%; Semi-Literate Culture 22%; Poker 0%]

I
got caught up in a cultural phenomenon awhile back, it seems that the world is irrational and that we humans have some skills that only a few of us know about to deal with this situation. Wouldn't you know it some academics figured out that information would make for interesting reading for the general enlightened public. So a spat of books have come out in the last couple of years basically focused on our innate abilities to seek and find the truth in what science might call irrational or illogical ways. Anecdotes abound in these various works but being a big fan of anecdotal evidence myself, I can live with that. What I am not so fond of is a string of examples that basically lead to nothing a but big Ta-Dah! All meat, no bone as my good friend Dr. Desmond loves to say.

Here is my four book foray into the world of irrational logic:

The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable by Nassim Nichols Taleb. You may want to notice that a couple of these authors have written several books on similar topics. While the whole Black Swan concept is interesting, his previous book: Fooled by Randomness was much more to my liking. Still the Black Swan is an interesting bedtime read.

From Amazon.com: "...the really important events are rare and unpredictable. He calls them Black Swans, which is a reference to a 17th century philosophical thought experiment. In Europe all anyone had ever seen were white swans; indeed, "all swans are white" had long been used as the standard example of a scientific truth. So what was the chance of seeing a black one? Impossible to calculate, or at least they were until 1697, when explorers found Cygnus atratus in Australia."

Nassim argues that most of the really big events in our world are rare and unpredictable, and thus trying to extract generalizable stories to explain them may be emotionally satisfying, but it's practically useless.

Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell didn't read his first book, The Tipping Point, but rumors are it was better. Blink suggests that our first thought or impression is more often than not correct. But I think we knew that already.

"Blink is about the first two seconds of looking--the decisive glance that knows in an instant. The author campaigns for snap judgments and mind reading with a gift for translating research into splendid storytelling."

Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior by Ori & Rom Brafman

Thisbook has the typical scientific prejudice against the non-linear and therefore, they say, the non-rational. Too bad because they write well and basically trash the premise of Blink; but they go too far, just as Blink did not go far enough. The authors also take anecdotal evidence to an nearly intolerable level, which is unusual since their argument comes down on the side of empirical science.

"Sway investigates the submerged mental drives that undermine rational action, from the desire to avoid loss to a failure to consider all the evidence or to perceive a person or situation beyond the initial impression and the reluctance to alter a plan that isn't working."

Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions
by Dan Ariely.


Still the scientific model here but with more reasoned look at the irrational. Must have been the psychological approach the author took. Still when will science come to understand magic?

"People tend to behave irrationally in a predictable fashion. Drawing on psychology and economics, behavioral economics can show us why cautious people make poor decisions about sex when aroused, why patients get greater relief from a more expensive drug over its cheaper counterpart and why honest people may steal office supplies or communal food, but not money."

All in all, I found everything after the first few chapters of these books to be unsatisfying. Good articles that never reach the potential they should have to qualify as a full length well structured book.

Patience is a Virtue?


[Content Disclosure: Life 64%, Patience 83%, Poker 2%]

The two most powerful warriors are patience and time. -Tolstoy

The aptly named Poker Grump wrote an intereting article disagreeing with my distaste for Poker = Life metaphors. I have been working on a "patience" section for a new book but today I am pondering patience not poker. I have noticed that patience tends to come with the ease of age. At least is how it seems to me these days. Yet I find others younger and older to have more patience in areas than I might. It appears we selectively decide that some areas are out of bounds for restraint, something about not abiding idiots or tolerating fools.

I guess I don't want to trounce any intolerance today, but I do notice that life in general is requiring a goodly dose of patience these days.

I have several writing gigs in the "hold" position. Actually one has come through and others linger. Patience, my boy, patience.

One of my good friends is under consideration for a position that would be great for her and just an excellent decision for the company involved, but nothing yet.

On the lighter side, I was at dinner the other evening with my brother and one of my recently retired poker buddies. When I asked them what the plans were for the weekend, they gave me an eloquent and mirthful dissertation on why making plans too far in advance is unwise when you are in full retirement mode. It seems you don't want to add stress or structure to a life of leisure. Wise and deservingly slothful men these are.

What comes next for me? Now there is a question, a whole galaxy of questions that are requiring a lot of patience these days. Patience and just existing at the edge of the void. Really an interesting if not completely comfortable place to pitch one's tent.


Female & Male Endings


[Content Disclosure: Gender, Understanding, Passion, Reminiscing and no poker]

“Those who restrain their desires, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained.” --William Blake

Well that certainly is one side of the equation Mr. Blake but a side I am familiar with. Not because I am what anyone would describe as a overtly emotional person. Just the opposite, but I have traveled with many manic, creative, socially high energy friends and lovers. I am not one to tolerate inane or insane behavior for its own sake, I generally just absent myself from such goings on. However, the wild creative energy that so often infuses artistic talent and emotional commitment does lend itself to over-percolation followed by incoherent eruptions. It is here where gender takes a role in my encounters with the varieties of the emotional precipice.

The few women with whom I have had messy, incomplete, unclosured endings; will invariably describe our final days as tinged with anger. My anger not theirs. I do not deny such characterizations. I object, of course, to the elevation of anger to a level commensurate with rape, murder and child abuse, but that is just a simplistic tactic of a gender unable to grasp the finer nuances of curling, the zone defense and beer pong.

Men on the other hand are completely different. I have male ex-friends, who would describe our defunct friendships in exactly the same way and anger would never be a factor. We were friends and then we were not. I have no idea if they have a "story" about how or why we became former acquaintances and I really don't care. Contrary to popular folklore men really don't "need" to be right in these situations. Two opinions, two positions, two points of view that irresolvable lead to an end. Done. Finished. No conversation required.

The other gender, from the land of hormones, wants completion, resolution and yes, closure; not to mention punishment. But, in my experience, these must happen without any bilateral process. They seek an ending that sheds a redeeming light on their unexamined behavior. (Play the "he was angry" card here.) How quiet they become when someone actually enters the conversation.

Desires come in all shapes, sizes and forms. Denying any of them is a sign of weakness. Controlling them is an indication of personal strength. Exploring them demonstrates courage. Being uncomfortable with your desires reveals your humanity and is never something to apologize for--ever.

Random Pokerish Thoughts


[Content Disclosure: 45% Poker sorta; 32% Wisdom or a reasonable facsimile; 9% Other, but I give good other]

"God does not play dice with the universe; however, she is not above a good check raise when you least expect it." -- Me

For my non-poker versed readers, a check raise is a move where you pass or check your opportunity to bet your hand and then when your opponent bets, you raise their bet with an even bigger bet. It is the poker equivalent of saying: "I gotcha!" And more than that, it is saying: "I gotcha and you had no clue it was coming." Now, of course, your opponent might just fire another even bigger bet right back at you but you get the idea.

I am not a big fan of the "Poker is like Life" books and articles. I also don't forward emails on why Men are Like Cars or Women are Like Wine. These are called analogies or metaphors and generally are too general to carry any more wisdom than a dribble glass. So, periodically you will find me ranting about such poker comparisons.

"Life is not like Texas Hold’em; Wall Street is not a game of five card stud and international politics is not the best place to practice your poker face." --Myself

Check Raising the Devil is a brilliant title for a book but in the eventuality you actually encounter Satan in your local card room, I suggest you fold and request a table change.

However for my true poker buddies, especially those in the poker media:

"Life is not like Badugi, Life is like Crazy Pineapple played with a joker, a live straddle and a full kill." --I

We now return you to our regular programming.

Cleaning Up After the New Year

[Content Disclosure: Detritus 12%; Flotsam 9%; Jetsam 17%; Dust Bunnies 23%; other 47%]

Time to put 2008 to bed and dance on into whatever comes next, but first some housekeeping chores I may have been putting off.

RSS feeds: For the many or several who have requested a notification when I put up a new post, the various feeds are now up there on the top of the right hand column, pick your favorite and you will never miss a witty, insightful bon mot from Keeping Your Head in All the Games.

Actual House Cleaning, Discarding & Transporting: I am just back from a trip to Sonoma County and I will be departing Las Vegas for a cottage in Sebastopol something mid to late month. The available sublet from an olde and dear friend just seemed too synchronous to ignore. I will be in and around Northern California until at least mid-May and then we shall evaluate the various options that life presents.

Another Book: Well it appears that the team (Amy, Mike and me) are going to press on with the partnership and begin the Matusow tournament book. I am planning to spend time with Mike while I am still here in Las Vegas and in all likelihood will work through the WSOP this summer to complete that project.

Dis-Ease: There seems to be a lot of maladies of all kinds around my orbit these days. Friends and family and family of friends are manifesting illness, age and dissatisfaction. I get it, no really I get it. My only advice is paying attention and participating in your own somatic presence. Don't turn your health or your life over to the gods of the white coats. Use them and their potions judiciously and wisely. Enjoy Life--This is not a Dress Rehearsal.

Frequency: I will be posting here more this year then last. I have way too much percolating to leave it all on the pillow, so stayed tuned and keep in touch; I shouldn't be doing all the talking.

Employment Opportunities: Et cetera

[Content Disclosure: Poker 99%; Position Seeking 12%; Random Direction 4%]

For those who may be stopping by to see some of my poker writings, I guess I had better give you a few recent links. You might not scroll down far enough beyond my end of year musings to locate the evidence of my unmistakable poker wit and wisdom. Here are some highlights from the past few weeks with pure poker content:

National & International legislation effecting online poker

Run Good, Run Better, Run Best
Poker on the Fringe
Poker & Life; Life & Poker
The Poker Economy
Shameless Self Promotion
and, of course, The Book

Under the guise of semi-full disclosure, I would remind both potential employers and collaborators that this blog:

". . . serves several purposes. It is my personal not-all-about-poker blog. My professional poker blogging can be found on (nowhere at the moment, ah the great world wide economy). I am using this space to muse about things not always poker, which is why I begin each post with a "Content Disclosure". Some folks come here just for the poker and others for anything non-poker. This is where I do both and a wee bit more."

Emotional Drive-By

[Content Disclosure: 55% Life; 38% Memories; 19% Lust; 9% Love; 7% Long Forgotten Pain; Stir in a bit of Nostalgia and a Smidgen of Insight; .5% Poker]

When you live in Las Vegas, a lot of old friends come to town for meetings, conventions, trade shows and junkets. I have several variations of my "guided tour" depending on how worldly my old chums are these days. At the end of one such visit this fall, I found myself upwind from a cigar on the balcony of a garden suite at one of more elegant hotels on the Strip. Yes, some of my old college friends have done right well in the world of corporate America and some of the perks are quite interesting for an evening. The client's expense account had paid for a very nice dinner after which I had given my high end poker tour (Venetian & Bellagio). We even did and interior drop by in Bobby's Room as I had to bug one of the players about a interview we had been putting off.

Later on the balcony my college buddy and I were discussing olde thymes and olde friends, when Steve said: "Tell me again about your crazy girlfriend."

"Well Chris wasn't really crazy." I remembered that Steve had been around a few times when I was with Chris in the 70's.

"No not Chris, your actually crazy girlfriend."

Oh, right Steve had never met Barbie, but at some long ago college reunion, the boys had stayed up late on another balcony of that bed and breakfast in Kalamazoo and told tales of our lives since graduation. I had told of a Barbie weekend in Los Angeles with the drugs, the overtly sexual Sunset Blvd. excursion and the broken picture window at the Coldwater Canyon house.

"I have the impression you are not looking to hear just another love/war story, what is it you are asking me? You got a crazy person in your life Steve?"

"As a matter of fact I do. And you are the guy with the Ph.D. in psychology and some experience with crazy women, so how about serving up a side of insight for me."

I remember a very similar talk Steve and I had forty years ago on that big front porch of Harmon Hall. Older and wiser, we thought we were, but still having late night dorm room conversations about life and women. Some things really never change, just the cost of the balcony.

As it turns out, Steve's crazy woman had been running an African photo safari compound for the past ten years, so it had been email only for a long time. But she was back again and too close for comfort to his fully functional life in Atlanta. While he finished his cigar and we both emptied several bottles of wine, I gave what clinical advice as I could and we judiciously did not see the sun rise over the Strip. But that night has been rolling around in my psyche since then and I have come up with the highly theoretical and anecdotally tested construct of the Emotional Drive-By.

Ladies please feel free to reverse the gender roles in this theory, it works equally well with crazy boyfriends.

The Emotional Drive-By consists of an ex-lover dipping themselves into your life, yet again! The essential symptoms include most if not all of the following:
-they are not staying, this is not an attempt at permanence nor reconciliation;
-they are adventure addicts, action junkies and/or lost souls;
-you can't save them and they will harm you;
-you know that re-involvement is a mistake; yet often that knowledge does not translate into rational behavior;
-the entire encounter is overwhelmingly seductive;
-the moment they are gone again, you look at yourself in the mirror again and ask: "Why did I do that...again?"

If all of the above makes completely rational sense to you, I am sorry because none of the above will do you any good since this is not and never was a rational relationship.

You have several choices: Don't take the phone call, no really, don't take the call. I know, I know but the other option is to store up better emotional bandages than you had back then and carve out some time in our life for yet another emotional recovery. Its always a balance between the chaos in your life after she is gone and the junkie release you get while he is there.

For those who find this scenario way too familiar; my deepest, most insightful clinical advice is: Run Away!

Please pay the receptionist on the way out, remember I have a therapist who costs me a lot more than I charge you. And good night Barbie, wherever you are.